Is love a sham?

Familiarity breeds contempt. I see it everyday, among spouses and friends.

Here’s a silly question. Is it true that the less you know someone, the more you’re likely to love him or her?

Funny as it sounds, I have friends who’ve fallen out of love because there’s nothing more to learn about their partners, or so they say. They tell me things have become too routine. Its always back to the same old conversations, going to the same places, eating the same things, telling the same jokes. Even valentine’s day is predictable. Given how shallow some people can be, I wonder how they can stay married for 5 years let alone 50.

I’m told that in the olden days, looking for a wife didn’t necessarily have anything to do with looking for love. A lot of it was prearranged and a wife was defined as someone who cooks, cleans and looks after the children. If it sounds like an advert for foreign maids you’re right but that was the reality back then, the accepted norm. So if love was not a requirement in a spouse then, where did people find love I wondered?

Could it be that love is a modern invention?

Regardless, the road then and now seems to lead to the same end. The more time progresses, the more forces that push couples apart than pull them together. Love and predictability seems to behave like natural enemies.

Although my girlfriend and I haven’t discovered everything about each other in our 2 years, I know its a matter of time before the question will crop up, if not by my parents by hers. I admit I have been worried. If we do get married, at what point will my status change from sweetheart to “that scumbag”? Or her to “that old hag”? When will frowns replace the the smiles before every sentence? Will we want to sleep in the same bed 40 years from now?

I guess my real question is, can love really be this shallow?

Do past grades and salaries really indicate how good you are?

My simple answer is no but people – whether employers or customers – naturally want to get the upper hand.

When I was in school, mathematics was my worst subject. My mind operated in a world of fuzzy logic, not precise logic and so I excelled in the arts. If I got a C or D in maths and chemistry I’d run around and hoot in celebration because I didn’t get an F.

Something happened after I graduated from college. One day as I was browsing aimlesly in Kinokuniya, I was moved to buy this book on cosmology. Something in it must have unlocked a part of my brain because after I finished it, I saw mathematics in a different light. Complex calculus actually started to make sense and man, it spooked the hell out of me. A few months later I found myself helping my sister with her form 6 math problems. That was my first lesson never to take past performance as a definite indicator of future performance.

The second one involved salaries. I once attended an interview where they made a big deal about my last job’s salary. It was low because the frickin company promised everyone bonuses that never came and the company finally shut down due to financial mismanagement. But anyhow, because on paper my salary was 15% below the industry average, the interviewers proceeded along the lines that I must not be good. I knew these bastards wanted to get me for cheap because while they were excited with my ideas and track record, they kept harping that my last drawn proves I’m not as good as I make myself out to be. And yet they didn’t want to show me the door either. Finally I gave them my middle finger and left.

I don’t know what to make of people and companies who insist that if you failed once, you will fail forever in your life or if you succeeded once, you will succeed forever. Well apparently, this infantile way of thinking is a pillar of corporate thinking, particularly in HR departments. I notice they always start the relationship on a position of distrust. What they do not admit is the fact that performance and environment is linked. If you are a superstar hired by a crap company, you will probably get crap results. But who at the interview table will admit their company is crap.

So while I don’t mind revealing my numbers to potential employers, I do mind if they make conclusions about me based solely on that history. Maybe its just me but I don’t work with people of impaired judgement, namely those who insist that I’m only as good as my past.

Six degrees of separation

Do you know that you are connected to Queen Elizabeth by 6 individuals or less? I am. This is an actual situation.

Link 1: I have a classmate who works for Singapore Airlines.
Link 2: She has a British boyfriend.
Link 3: Her bf’s father is a cousin to one officer in Buckingham Palace.
Link 4: That officer reports to his superior, the top man in charge of diplomatic affairs.
Link 5: That man is very well known to the top circles in Buckingham, including the Queen.

According to wiki, six degrees of separation is the concept that any two individuals on the planet are connected by at most six others. It can be the US President or the most remote African bushman.

Try you own experiment and find out for yourself how small this world really is.

Would you go to the movies alone?

I would and I have, and some of my friends think that’s being a loser.

But I think I know why. Its all to do with the reason why we go out.

When I do go out alone (and that’s not very often), I have a clear mission and my mind is focused on that. It may to buy a remote controlled car, a CD, or a movie. Bumping into a friend is a bonus.

But my friends are different. They’re the type that would only play their video games when their friends are around. Going out is not just to see but to be seen. Its a social experience.

Well to me its not good or bad, just different. I may be a loser to them but I don’t see them as losers. Only afraid of their own company.

Turning the other cheek

“If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”

(Matthew 5:38-42, NIV)

I’ve met my share of strange people but this one lady, a family friend, ranks very high on my fruitcake list.

She’s a granny, Chinese, around 65 and a professed christian. She was boasting today about how a young man tried to cheat her in an investment 10 years ago, how she verbally cursed him and how she found out a few years later that he had become a bankrupt.

In animated glee, she exclaimed how wonderful it is that God helped her destroy this young man’s life and two others who she claimed had also cheated her in some way. She ominously said let no one cross her or she will invoke her curse again and for sure, God will go after these people.

I don’t know what makes her think that God (if he really exist) would actually run around doing the bidding of his servants but I felt sorry for her. At 65, she probably doesn’t have much time left. If she still can’t see the world beyond her own selfish needs, then she’s in for a few surprises at the pearly gates.

Me, I don’t believe in any of that God stuff. I believe our fate is a result of our own thoughts and actions and is therefore ours to change. Yeah I can be a stubborn ass sometimes but I don’t believe in cursing anyone or gloat in their suffering. Except when their team bombs out in the game.

As for Grandma Fruitcake, like most grandmas she’s not one to listen to someone younger. The only thing I could do was sip my tea and let things go into one ear and out the other.

Superheroes

I don’t know if anyone noticed but there seems to be a rash of superhero shows of late. What started off as a trickle about 20 years ago with early versions of Superman and Batman has steadily grown with latter-day versions of X-Men, Spiderman, Fantastic Four, Ghost Rider and Heroes the tv series.

Personally I can’t wait for a real life movie of the Powerpuff Girls. I’m curious to see who will play my favorite hero – Mojo Jojo.

Some say comic-book superheroes first appeared at a time when the world suffered great conflict – world wars and dreadful crime rates – to fulfill a need. People were feeling lousy about life because the good could not defeat the bad. That was the time when the cities were controlled by the mob and people from strange foreign lands were killing their servicemen. The constant bad news was more than they could bear.

Because you couldn’t simply go out and buy hallucinogenic drugs like today, minds took off on their own and began to fantasize. Some of the more talented took a step further to literally draw out their fantasies, what became feel-good artwork portraying how villains were taken down by righteous people who wore their underwear outside and had out-of-this-world powers. These unusual men and women would set the wrongs right again. They will save the day.

The symbol must have been so appealing that people just ate it up. As a superhero all you needed was a strong righteous identity. Mystery was a big thing then so any uniform will do as long as you had a mask and cape. Oh you also need a dark origin, a notorious villain, incredible powers and a storyline and you’d have a hit. I’ve lost count of how many superheroes there must have been from Hulk to Captain America, their special powers as varied as the uniforms they wore. You could never run out of comics in the 40’s -50’s.

Well 50 years later the superheroes are still alive and well, outliving four generations of Star Trek captains. They are upgraded to include issues of the day of course. TV series Heroes for example makes mention of global warming and terrorism. Nice touch.

Superheroes will rule the world because people know conventional weapons don’t work against the bad guys. We need mind readers, laser-shooting eyes, indestructable bodies, hands that turn water to ice, people who can fly in the air. Even James Bond will die off because he is not super enough.

Malaysians are not spared – we also need superheroes to make life bearable. So will Cicakman save Malaysia? I dunno but I’m betting we’ll be seeing a few more in days to come.

Ghost Rider – Mat Rempit movie of the year

No that’s not the official movie poster but it should have been.

I saw the movie last night. Its a rempit movie on steroids complete with traffic-snarling road stunts. I’m predicting we’ll soon see a horde of local Johnny Blazes (Nicholas Cage) wannabes, possibly entire rempit gangs built on his persona. After all the important ingredients are there. Bikes, chicks, supportive onlookers, glamour, idiotic police, baddies cutting into your turf, even a mission to save the day.

I tell ya, the movie is a Met Rempit dream come true, the story probably written by a Mat Rempit because the plot is a simple one. Someone makes a deal with the devil to save his father from cancer. He pays for it by doing the devil’s bidding and that is to kick other devils’ asses in a hellish struggle for power. But the hero has a good heart and after paying his dues to the devil, vows to use his dark superpowers to fight crime.

A very important tool of Johny Blaze’s trade is of course that all-important icon of coolness, a heavily-chromed easy rider motorcycle given by the Evil One on which he chases the bad guys. Hmm… sending devils on motorbikes to catch criminals. Now where have I heard that before….

I found the movie funny although I know its not meant to be a comedy. It tries too hard to highlight the Jekyll-and-Hyde life of Blaze – a Karen Carpenters-loving innocent guy one moment, a leather-and-chains creature from hell the next, complete with a burning skull for a head.

The CG (computer graphics) was sloppy and looked a bit game-like, especially when it closes up on the burning skull. I’ve seen better CG than that. The action sequences were predictable but okay. Storyline’s a bit flat but what can you expect from a Rempit.

I give Ghost Rider a 2.5 out of 5.

Killing people for sport

Amusement has risen to new heights. Read this sickening report.

We’re not gonna make it past this millenium are we.

Cyber Makciks

We all know the internet became phenomenally popular for two reasons – porn and gambling.

So pray tell, what crosses your mind when you see a middle-aged tudunged makcik at Low Yat Plaza haggling over the price of a 50-pack of DVD-Rs like it was ikan tenggiri? That’s a whopping 285GB of storage space.

a. She wants to save her mp3 collection and she has over a million songs
b. She wants to clone some DVDs
c. She’s a writer and wants to back up her Miscrosoft Word files
d. She’s buying them for her teenaged son
e. None of the above

The homely-looking makcik, probably in her 50’s, was carrying a newly purchased D-Link wireless router in a plastic bag. Total respect. Even my 16 year old sister doesn’t know what a router is.

I think its great that our elders are finally going online but the sight of mums, dads and grannies buying gigabytes of recording media jolted my ever-curious mind.

Its still trying to compute why… whirr..whirr..beep…beep…

Idiots at the ATM

I hate going to the ATM. I hate seeing people’s IQs drop below room temperature as soon as they come into contact with an ATM. But I have no choice.

I went to an ATM at 1U today. There were 3 people in front of me and I saw 3 irritating habits.

The senile withdrawer
The frontmost person was a lady, around her 40’s. I think she could not remember her PIN. She slowly and hesitantly pecks in her digits, machine rejects PIN, she hits cancel, takes out card, mutters something in Cantonese, rummages through her handbag for something, then reinserts her card again. She did this 3 times before hitting on an idea to call someone, presumably to ask whoever it was for the PIN. All this while nicely holding up the line. But as luck would have it, signal was bad in that corner and her call didn’t connect. Whew, ’cause she looked like my aunt who could yak. But before she gave up her spot, she glared at the machine like it was an alien. 3 minutes gone.

The blur sotong withdrawer
The next one was a lovey-dovey couple, early 20’s. The young lady was obviously unprepared for the transaction because when her turn came, she frantically searched her handbag and pockets for her ATM card. I guess she was too busy cosying it up with her bf to remember anything else. So she finally finds her card and after typing her PIN, she kept looking to her bf for step-by-step guidance. Both of them were hunched over the ATM screen giggling in muffled tones like they were in some kind of photo booth. After a few “What should I do”’s from the girl and a few “No, not that one” from the guy, the girl got her money. It must be her first time ever at the ATM. I really wanted to slap her. Damn, 2 minutes gone. My gf was waiting at the cinema entrance. Popcorn getting cold. Shit.

The petty withdrawer
Next was an Ah Beng. A loan shark I thought, complete with badly-dyed hair. This guy had super duper confidence. He did it like clockwork. Stick card in quickly, machine-gun in the PIN, choose the amount, take cash, count it, stick the card back into the ATM – all while talking loudly on the phone. He took RM300 out in two separate withdrawals of RM150 each. And that’s not all. He then whipped out another card from his wallet and repeats the same thing. Altogether he made 4 mini-withdrawals. Why the f*** didn’t he just withdraw RM600 in one shot is a mystery but that bastard chewed up 3-4 minutes.

Then its my turn. I had card in hand, knew exactly how much I wanted, am a fast typer and knew the ATM screens like back of my hand. I was out of there in like 20 seconds. My waiting time: about 12 minutes.

I just don’t understand people. Why can’t they remember their blardy PINs? Why do they behave like they never touched an ATM in their lives? Why do they withdraw many times in small amounts when they could have withdrawn in one easy sum? Why do they hold up the line agonizing over how much to withdraw when they should have decided while waiting in line? Why do they take so damn long just to withdraw a hundred friggin’ dollars?

Did I say I hate going to the ATM?