Nerds are conquering Formula One

The current formula one season is a non-starter for me. I’ve been a fan of Mclaren the underdog for years and things have turned around for them. They’re now the dominant force.

So why do I say its a non-starter? It has something to do with the word underdog.

I’ve always been a supporter of strong underdogs. Teams that have the machinery, guts, talent and attitude but are somehow beaten to the finish line by one thing – sheer bad luck. I say bad luck because with the phenomenal research and testing they’ve done and talents like Kimi on board, how else would you characterize Mclaren’s constant failure of past seasons?

Guess I’m not immune to the showbiz factor of formula one. I love the good guy/bad guy feeling. Every movie producer knows how that drives ratings, especially the good folks at the WWF. For Mclaren fans Schumi was for a long time the bad guy. Kimi was the veritable silver angel out to defeat the red devil. Michael’s cocky attitude laid the groundwork for an exciting joust and Kimi’s mysterious equipment failures never failed to draw out sympathies from his fan base. Jokers like Sato and Mantoya would liven the scene at the back.

How things have changed in a few short months. Bad boy Michael has retired (although still hangs out at the tracks). Kimi has switched horses to Ferrari and brought along his bad luck with him. Alonso the nerd is being trounced by his teammate Hamilton, also a nice guy who never ceases to smile. Massa, yet another nice diplomatic guy, is always in the top 3.

Aaarggh, the nerds have taken over the front line. No more attitude. No more villains to hiss at. Everyone’s nice, cordial, cooperative, smiling. Shivers.

Things are getting predictable again albeit the tables being turned. Everyone’s now betting on the silver car, the one with Hamilton in it. Kimi is sliding backwards to become just another driver despite sitting in a throroughbred. I found myself sitting happily at the mamak stall last Sunday when I should be watching the flag-off in Monaco and worse, I didn’t feel any remorse.

Frankly I don’t know which team to support any more. My favorite underdog is now running away with the trophies and the team I disliked is now the underdog. And the interesting characters like DC are now stuck in the middle of the field and definitely not adding to the excitement.

I have nothing against nerds. I just hate boring races where there are no more bad guys to beat.

Body art. Do you?

Business is booming in New York City. Not tattoo or body piercing shops but the tattoo removal business. That’s according to CNN.

Apparently many wall street executives and young mothers who once clamored to have tattoos done are now clamoring to get them off, permanently. Enter the laser tattoo removal peeps.

We asians are smarter. We’ve got tatts that wear off after 2 weeks. But I’m not sure about the holes left behind by piercings on the tongue, nose and other parts of the body. Do they heal?

I have no piercings or tattoos to worry about and so its not my area of expertise but I’ve wondered about this. If you’re invited to dinner by your future parents-in-law, would you take off the chrome studs on your pierced eyebrows and tongue just for the occasion, even though the reason you have them in the first place is because they define ‘you’?

Would you bother to cover up that tattoo on your arm or belly button? Or would you do the love-me-for-what-I-am thing?

Celcom football ads

A couple of tv ads by Celcom lingers in my mind although not for the reasons the ad maker would have intended.

The first one is the weeping woman who sobs away as she watches a soccer match on telly. I dunno if she’s crying because she lost a huge bet or her boyfriend left her but she’s clearly distressed.

The second one, probably of the same series, is about a man who laughs uncontrollably to the match on tv. I’ll call him Mr. Hyena. He acts like he escaped from a mental asylum.

I’m no ad guru but if I remember my advertising 101, a good ad has 2 things. First a call to action, second a dramatization of the uniqueness of the product.

These 2 football ads have a call to action alright. They prompt me to switch channels everytime they come on air. I don’t fancy having extremely distraught women or someone like Mr. Hyena in my living room. Not even after a couple of beers.

Perhaps the ad maker assumes that the football-watching crowd’s senses is so dull that they feel compelled to go waaay over the top to send a simple message. Its called overkill.

On dramatizing the uniqueness of a product, I think this one crashed & burned because the target group, young cellphone users like me, have no idea what its trying to dramatize. The only connection I’ve made is that if you watch a soccer match sponsored by Celcom, you will become a hyena or you’ll cry your eyeballs out. Neither one makes exciting prospect.

The things companies do to their own brands…

Of gays and lesbians

Gallivanter asked an interesting question in his blog: Why is it both men and women accept lesbians as part of society, but not gays.

Here’s the answer I posted:

I’ll answer the 2nd part first. Actually I found that many of my male friends have no problem with gays but due to peer pressure, they have to act as if its not ok. Its an image thing. When you’re trying to be seen as an alpha male, you cannot afford to be seen as ’soft’. In fact you make fun of ’soft’ people just to strengthen the perception that you are unlike them. Its quite self serving actually, to feel better about oneself by hating other that are not like you.

On the straight male’s acceptance of gay females, that’s a fantasy thing. What’s a bed full of naked females? A harem. To the guy it doesn’t matter what the ladies are doing to each other because his focus is on the number of female genitals available. So again it serves his purpose.

I’ve been meaning to write about the gay & lesbian topic for a while and I think this is a good time.

I’m lucky in the sense that of the few friends that I have, none of them care whether their friends are gay or straight. They’re smart enough to separate character (how people treat one another) from sexual orientation (what people do in bed), a feat not many people can do.

But I also know it doesn’t come without limits. Despite their coolness about it, they don’t want to be seen hanging out with ‘lady boys,’ heavily made-up men who dress up as women. So their acceptance is actually tolerance. Its not the same thing. Hence my conclusion that it boils down to the protection of self image.

But that’s reality isn’t it. If you have coffee at Starbucks with an old male classmate who has become an effeminate drama queen, you worry that someone you know might notice you. You worry that the whole town will snicker at you the next day. Most people like to avoid that.

So when people are fearful, they like to brand themselves according to what they’re NOT rather than what they ARE. Afraid to be suspected as gay? Then dramatize certain behaviors to send a message that you’re NOT gay. You can brag about how many chicks you’ve laid last weekend and make fun of gays if necessary even though deep down you know trashing people’s a bad thing.

About why males happily accept lesbians. Boys will be boys. They are aroused with one set of female genitalia at the scene. They’re doubly aroused with two sets. So lesbianism, why not? I doubt if they’ll comprehend lesbianism to be anything more than two women sexually stimulating each other.

Another thing. Men are immune to the natural show of friendship among females, the hand holding and hugging thingy. They wouldn’t have a clue if there’s something deeper going on between the girls. So he *shrugs* because to him its not fathomable, not real, no big deal.

If it sounds like men treat people like sex objects, as a male myself I’ll admit its mostly true. I won’t generalize except to say that most guys my age only have 2 things on their mind: sex and $$$.

I’ll leave you with one thought. If you woke up tomorrow and found that society is no longer homophobic, would you still treat gays and lesbians the same way?

We can fart

You’ve heard this one I’m sure.

A shopowner woke up one day to discover that a new business had moved in next door. At the front of the shop was a big bold sign that said “Wee Kean Fatt.” Not to be outdone, he called up his signage supplier who promptly came and hoisted up the sign “Soh Kean Wee.”

Ok, I stumbled on a shop that sounded like the first part of the joke. Well sort of.

Anybody know a shop whose name can stand in for the second part of the joke?

Male talents

A bit of self criticism for today. I find its ironic when men associate certain jobs with the ‘weaker’ sex when it is them who are at the top of the category. Examples:

Culinary arts
Fashion designer
Interior designer
Botanist
Fine arts
Tailor
Hair stylist
Masseuse
Modeling (some men are more beautiful than women )

Aren’t all these dominated by men?

But I must be fair and say that men also top other categories like serial killer.

Women are the same aren’t they. They too want to define ‘male’ jobs and ‘female’ jobs. A breadwinner must be a male job even if its the woman who earns more than the man.

Gender-stereotyping at work is so last-generation. Women are getting into macho jobs like security guards despite saying that providing security is a man’s job. And men have not moved out of restaurant kitchens despite saying that cooking is a woman’s job.

Even underwear doesn’t escape this state of affairs. A generation ago who would foresee bikinis for men and boxers for women. There’s man-bags now which is a more feminine version of the ‘uncle-bag’, that rectangular palm-sized leather bag than old uncles love to use. I hear we’ll be seeing man-bras next for people with man-boobs like Simon of American Idol. And women can now pee standing up just like their male counterparts, thanks to some new inventions.

But I bet some forms of gender seterotyping will never go away.

Sometimes we expect to see this:

and then we see this:
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Hahahahahaha….

Getting your way by saying No

Some people develop a curious reflex action of starting every sentence with “No lah!!” even though there’s nothing to disagree with. Example:

A: Yay!! Its Friday, thank god.
B: Nahh lah! Friday oso u want to jump up and down.

I’ve been wondering about the benefits of this style of vehement disagreement to nothing in particular and this is what I want to analyze today, because I think there’s more to it than meets the eye.

Right. Ahermm.

Firstly whether something is true or not, saying “No” can put you in control. Its a note of disapproval that can be designed to put you on the offensive and the other on the defensive. Nobody likes no’s. For some, its a natural inborn communication style to draw others into adverserial positions to elicit a response, sort of like a verbal ambush. They mostly have no clue why people feel offended. You might not see this as a benefit unless you appreciate that to stake a good ambush, you must be on high ground. High school debaters understand this very well.

Secondly by saying no you establish a master-servant relationship. A “no” from you forces the other person to come back with options until you say yes, especially when they want to please you. Its a great tool for making others do your work if you’re a lazy-ass mofo.

I once had a gf who liked to say its up to me where to go for dinner but she’ll always say no to any place I mention. Was I a servant at that moment. Yes and the job? Go find a restaurant and don’t come back until you find something that suits my exotic whim of the moment. All she has to do is sit like a queen and bestow her approval and disapproval depending on her fancy. So one day I came prepared. When she did that, I whipped out the yellow pages and told her here’s every restaurant in the city, you choose. We broke up a week later. Guess it wasn’t about choice after all but about control.

Thirdly saying no puts you on a higher plane of intellect. It sends a message that your wisdom is so superior that you naturally must be right. You talk, they listen, end of discussion. Its a great band-aid if you feel your ego is under constant threat.

Ok, now let me talk about the other side of things.

Differences in opinion is normal and actually necessary in a healthy debate. However the excessive and indiscriminate use of “No” is a sign of manipulativeness. I don’t have to tell you how that can destroy friendships and relationships.

Like everything else, there is a time and place to assert your righteous “no”, like in a work environment where there’s a well-defined pecking order. Its fair to say that an army whose soldiers doesn’t know who’s boss is not a pretty sight.

Its not okay if you bring home that mode of thinking and start treating your friends and loved ones like privates in the army. They might not even subscribe to your shool of thought that being an asshole is being macho, sexy and therefore desirable. Well, when one can’t connect the dots and the mouth moves faster than the brain, one can end up looking like an ass.

Then again, some people want to to be dominated. They want to be manipulated. And they look for a master to talk down to them. I’m not into S&M but if it floats their boat then who am I to say its bad, as long as I’m not at the receiving end.

For me personally, I have no special craving for approval (ok ok, I do want an approval code whenever they swipe my credit card) so I’d like to think I’m able to ditch friendships that are maniplative. Say no to me enough times for no good reason and I say bye bye to your phone number in my cell. It’s not about being intolerant to diverse views but I am allergic to people who are clearly manipulative – you know, control freaks, pompous asses and the like.

But what if you want to say an honest no without pissing someone off?

How about replacing “no” with these words:

I have a different opinion.
There is another way. Listen to this.
Wouldn’t that be a bad thing?
I see it differently.
Ok. What if …. (lay out your alternative view here)

The lesson I learnt is if you want to maintain a relationship that’s harmonious, think before you say a big fat No to people in the face. Even if they’re wrong. Its not whether you agree or disagree. Its how you disagree.

But then again not everyone is interested in maintaining a balanced relationship are they.

Some random thoughts

At the midnight tai pai thong (big row of hawkers) the other night, a friend – one of the very few who knows I blog – asked me why do I continue blogging when hardly anyone bothers to leave comments. He also noticed that I have no ads. No adsense. No nuffnang. No paid reviews. So why waste my time?

This is probably a good place for me to say why I blog. I blog because I want to keep a diary. The main audience is me. I enjoy writing stuff down and revisiting it a few years later so I could laugh my head off. I’d keep a physical diary if I didn’t always lose stuff like I do. A blog, now that’s a lot harder to misplace.

But the biggest reason why I blog is a practical one. I blog because I think a lot better when I write. It started in school when I noticed that everytime I have a tough problem to crack, I would reach for a pen and paper and start drawing or scribbling away. Somehow, a solution will always find its way on that piece of paper. It only dawned on me much later that writing helps me break down a puzzle mentally into its smallest details. You could say its like meditation.

Do I blog for fame. On the contrary I place a high value in NOT being a celebrity. I wrote about why previously. Having visitors to this site is nice but having none is perfectly alright too since it was set out to be just a diary.

I place a link in PPS because I know that good ideas don’t develop in isolation. It helps to know what other people think about what you write. But just as there’s no such thing as perfect senses, there’s no such thing as perfect perspectives, mine included. But that’s cool. To live in a world where there’s only one opinion would be a nightmare don’t you think.

There is no right or wrong reason to blog. Oklah, maybe there’s one. To blog as a means to settle scores with someone is where I draw the line. I believe in karma, online and offline.

People have their own reasons to blog and whether its for fame or personal image, hey go for it. Everyone should have a fair shot to be what they want to be, so long as no humans or animals are purposely hurt in the process.

That’s my 2 cents worth about blogging.

How to win a race in a traffic jam

Some time ago I arrived at the conclusion that Malaysia actually sits in the Bermuda triangle, unknown to most people. If you don’t know what the Bermuda triangle is, it’s an infamous part of the world where things defy the laws of logic.

In no other part of the world can you see cars turning left when they signal right, driving slow in the fast lane and driving towards you on a one-way street. Heck, you don’t even find this in Bermuda.

This morning’s drive was a classic case. Me and my buddy Mark agreed to meet up at Starbucks for an early morning coffee. Although we live in the same neighborhood, we drove separately. He’s a fast driver like me. We placed a small bet. We’ll take off from my house at the same time and the last person that arrives pays for breakfast.

We realize that at 8.30am on a working day, the roads will be choked with crawling traffic. The result? I won by 15 minutes.

How did I do it? Simple. When the road is jammed up, drive at the leftmost lane.

Yes that’s the slow lane where the traffic moves fastest (Hey we’re in the Bermuda triangle remember?). Like today, on one small stretch alone I overtook 26 near-stationary cars in the ‘fast’ lane.

Try it out and see if it works for you.

Anyway, thanks Mark for breakfast. Lets do it again sometime.

What do you think of girls who go for younger guys?

When I was 16 I had my first date ever with a girl who was 2 years older than I was. I was a coward then and she was the one who asked me out. I never thought about the age difference but I do remember being awed at how she handled the waiters at the place we went: a cozy pizza parlor in the suburbs of Chicago where I went to school. I was wowed that she actually drove her mom’s car like an expert.

In college when I was about 20 years old I remember going out with another older girl. I remember she said she was 23. I said cool and that was that. She had a job in real estate. Again there was nothing that caused me to think about the numbers gap and we had a great time.

But when I came back here I notice a distinct preference in men to go for younger women, or perhaps older women who looked young. Yesterday was the 2nd time this week that someone asked me why I’m going out with an older woman. Shirley my gf is in reality 2 years younger than I am. We are kinda like Spiderman and his girlfriend.

Ok, maybe Shirl dresses up more maturely but that’s her own style whereas I’m less picky about my clothes. I’m used to being mistaken for someone in his late teens. I guess I should have seen it coming.

Anyway there seems to be this unwritten rule here that girls are supposed to go out with guys older than them. Why? What difference does a couple of years make or even 5 or 6 for that matter. I actually have a friend in New Jersey who dated a 25 year old woman when he was 16. He thought she was hot and she didn’t mind and they dated for a while. They separated when he went on to college.

Personally age was never a criteria for me. I can understand why its not a good idea to be dating someone old enough to be your parent but not if they are just a few years apart. Or am I missing something here?