Movie Review: Transformers

Warning: No spoilers ahead. If you are a die-hard Transformers fan you might want to skip this review.

I did it. Went to see the movie last night, with Shirley as usual. We queued up for tickets at GSC 1U an hour before the show and lucked out – got seats like 5 rows from the back. Hurray for booking cancellations.

Anyway on to the movie. Storyline? What storyline? Its the usual good guy-bad guy bash-o-rama. Autobots versus the Decepticons for this little cube thingy.

It started ok but they lost me about halfway into the show. That’s when the top-secret but idiotic Sector 7 people came into the picture and everything rolled downhill in a non-stop blur of moving metal, screaming, gunshots, explosions and loud rock music in the background. Now imagine a solid hour of that.

Maybe I’m lost on the more subtle nuances of the characters since I never saw the Transformers anime on TV nor had a Tranformers toy but if you ask me, I’ll probably remember the show for these few things:

1. Sam Witwicky, the main kid in the story, has a standard line. He goes “No no no no no no no no no no no…” like a machine gun everytime something goes wrong and he repeats it like a hundred times in the show. Ok not a hundred, maybe 20 times. He deserves a tight slap.

2. The same idiot who, when Bumblebee’s legs got torn off his body after a building came down on it, bent down to ask him, “Are you ok?” Duh!

3. Everyone’s faces are covered with a layer of sweat and oil from the beginning till the end of the show. Even when they’re in bed.

4. Tough talking robots that whimper like dogs when they get their asses kicked. So cheap.

5. There’s this very irritating character, a tiny Decepticon robot whose specialty is to hack into computer systems. His character is a mixture of Jar Jar Binks (ugh), the tiny mechanical 2-legged helper robots in Star Wars Episode 1, and the Gremlins. Spielberg couldn’t resist putting in a tiny voiceover yammering away non-stop in every scene it appears. Hello… which retard unleashes a noisy spy robot on a stealth mission when it can’t stop talking to itself? Are the Decepticons really that dumb?

6. You can cram an object the size of a 10 story building into a package the size of a sports car, with room to sit inside some more. Amazing.

Alhough there’s literally tons of impressive eye candy, I find the whole story rather lame.

2 out of 5.

(Shirl was more generous. She gave it 4 out of 5).

What’s up with WordPress?

Am I the only one to get this when I click “New Post” in the morning?

Damn irritating but I’m NOT going back to Blogger. Well not yet anyway.

Climate change

No I’m not referring to your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s mood this morning.

As some of you know, I have another blog entitled On Global Warming that I’ve not updated for months.

Even though there’s a lot to say about this subject, I haven’t been moved to say much of late because to tell you the truth, I have serious doubts that anything will change. Time and again, the position of the world’s powers – those who can really make a difference – have proven to be hopelessly immovable. Headlines like “Rich nations accused of ‘green imperialism’” coming out of the recent WEC summit in Singapore plays like an old broken record. Same old same old.

So as we’re sinking on this ship, the multi-national crew wants to behave like a bunch of spoilt kindergarten kids and argue who’s at fault. Great.

Everyone has an opinion about climate change. Some doubt the validity of global warming studies. Fine. I understand earth is no stranger to natural warming cycles, that our planet’s weird orbit brings us to this point near the sun every 100,000 years when the big melt happens, that this is all destined to happen with or without the CO2 we’re belching.

I also see the logic of the argument that the man-induced artificial greenhouse effect is hastening the sinking of our collective ship.

But whatever argument you choose, will it change the fact that the ship is sinking? All nations had a hand in accelerating this. Everyone admits it.

So why isn’t it possible for everyone to work together on a rescue plan without acting lan si and taking pot shots at each other? Why is it that during every summit on climate change, we hear the same old story over and over again.

If its true that there’s really nothing we can do would a few blogs make a difference? In my dreams right? But here’s a thought. If we have to go out, why not go out in style. At least in the future when some alien digs up the remnants of our civilization, they’ll know we knew how to throw one hell of a party!

Screw the cheerleader, pass the genetically modified popcorn

I’m shifting my attention to Eureka, the new sci-fi TV series now airing on Astro.

Some of my friends think Eureka competes with Heroes. I think its a completely different show.

Heroes is a story of good versus evil. The villain is well defined – a power crazed guy who calls himself Sylar that the heroes must stop in order to save the world. Its got a predictable ring to it but is breathlessly entertaining nevertheless.

One thing about Heroes is that you can’t miss one episode and hope to make sense of the series because its one continuous story chopped up into many episodes. Eureka is different. Miss one episode and it won’t matter. Like a comedy, each episode is a separate story.

Shot in British Columbia, Canada, Eureka is the story about the life and adventures of some people in an idyllic small town that houses a secret, like a huge secret lab where they do weird experiments, blow up stuff and take credit for every scientific breakthrough known to the US.

Its got a great cast:- main man and clueless single parent Sheriff Jack Carter, DOD agent Allison Burke who always brings some kind of trouble to Jack, Deputy Jo Lupo who reminds me of J Lo, Zoe Carter who is Jack’s rebellious teenage daughter, and Nathan Stark, head researcher of Global Dynamics that is the town’s the secret lab.

To me Eureka is a sitcom minus the laugh tracks. It centers around the life of a Sheriff who has struggle between 3 things: keeping law and order in a town populated by the most intelligent people on the planet, keeping (and I’m guessing failing at) his parental obligations to his daughter, and managing his emotions with the DOD agent and his fiery Deputy. There seems to be no sign of an arch villain and so I suspect we’ll be seeing a series of funny or dramatic situations that change from episode to episode.

My first impression of Eureka? You mean other than thinking it looks like a cross between Dexter’s Lab and The Truman Show starring Jim Carrey? Its funny and it looks promising. How good is it going to be? I guess I won’t know till the end of the current season but based on what I’ve seen so far I think its fun to watch.

How to ask for a raise

Boy is this going to be career week for me or what. I seem to be writing a lot about office stuff.

I had teh tarik with a friend last night. He’d just quit his job over differences with his boss. Basically he’s sore about not getting the raise and bonus he expected, something that had been eating him since January. He’s lucky to get a new job offer which he grabbed without hesitation.

I’ve had a couple of such friends before and through these midnight sessions learned a few things about how to ask more moolah from the boss.

From what I’ve been hearing, asking for a raise is a negotiation skill. You need a couple of things in your toolbag.

Firstly, you need to know if your company is making enough money to actually pay the increase. You know what I’m going to say if you’re working for a loss-making company right? You can thank your lucky stars you still have a job.

Secondly, find out if your boss actually has the power to grant you a raise. If your a junior engineer reporting to the senior engineer who reports to the secton head who reports to bla bla bla, then your immediate boss has just about enough power to buy a box of paper clips. Go find out who to negotiate with.

Thirdly, you need to know precisely what it takes for them to give you a raise. Its a bit naive to think that the more glowing your appraisal form, the higher your raise will be. The form just rats on talent not attitude. Things like quality of judgement and management style will not appear in it but often carry heavier weight when they consider for pay raises and promotions. Don’t ask me why they never put it in the form.

So with these in mind, you walk up to your boss or whoever can give you the raise and ask him point blank, “Boss, if I can give you these 3 things by December, will you give me a raise?” Duke it out with him personally not thru e-mail and lay out the precise terms. Don’t let it go without an answer. Learn to be assertive, dammit. Then hold him to it. After that you can e-mail him on this little agreement as confirmation of the deal and then re-mail it to him at apparisal time as a reminder. If you delivered and he doesn’t, you can go ahead and kick him in the nuts.

There. Simple isn’t it. Since I’m at it I might as well tell you how a raise will almost certinaly not come to you.

1. Expecting that you deserve a raise. Although many companies may claim that if you perform, you’ll get a raise, the dark truth is that much of it is discretionary. I’ve heard of directors shooting down increment and bonus plans even when everybody performs. Obfuscation is just one of the realities of the working world which is why I shy away with a 10-foot pole.

2. Believing too much in the almighty appraisal form. Like I said, they can score you excellent in every category and still give you a measly 2% increment just like the next guy who’s producing half as much as you do. The reason may be as per #1.

3. Believing that the boss can read your mind and that by dropping hints, he will get your drift. In reality while you’re sending him these telepathic thoughts, he may be thinking what to have for lunch or why is that printer light blinking. So why do you blame him when he is clueless about your desperation for a raise.

4. Believing you can arm-twist your boss into giving you a raise. You know, being cynical, going MIA (missing in action), stonewalling, and generally biting the hand that feeds you. And you do this because you believe you’re irreplacable and he will have to kow tow to avoid losing you. Well unless your boss is your husband or wife, I can assure you it’ll backfire. I can’t believe one of my friends actually tried this. He failed.

Oh, last words. When you strike a deal with your boss, do it months in advance of the salary revision. And do it when he’s in a good mood, it always turns out better.

Make $ with no effort. Sure or nootttt?

Actually it happens all the time. People just don’t talk about it so let me say it. I bought some shares on SGX last year. The returns so far has exceeded my expectations. What was my effort? Zilch.

Ok so maybe that’s a bit of a stretch. If you wanna get technical about it, I did do some research on the company’s fundamentals before I bought in. I did seek the advice from my broker. I did glance through the stock listings occasionally to keep track of the stock price and I did incur an opportunity cost. So technically its not true that I did absolutely nothing. I did next to nothing.

To me making money is all about harnessing labor and capital. Nothing new there. You can put in 100% labor as in working 9-5 like a dog or you can put in 100% capital and make someone else do the dirty work for you. Actually you can also add any mixture of these two to have your own owner-cum-operator thingy but thats another story.

For me I prefer the capital market – investing money because the money works 24×7. I can take advantage of compound interest to earn more without doing anything extra. I can watch TV all morning in my pajamas and make prank calls to my pals in the office after lunch. Whereas if I get a job, I stop producing wealth after hours and on weekends. Plus I have to grovel and polish a few apples. Definitely not my best talent.

But to make money without any capital or labor? Dream on buddy, ain’t gonna happen.

This is just my bit to say that there IS such a thing as making money with next to no effort and more people are in it than you think (why do you think shopping malls are busy during office hours?). All you need is some capital and a good head between your shoulders.

And where to get capital? Go figure.

Moved

So how do you like the new look of my blog? Hope WordPress is better than Blogger. Hee hee

Why aren’t you promoted?

One of the fine blogs I like to read is Kathiroly Raj’s Wise Life Advice. Maybe it has something to do with my past life I dunno but I can relate to the articles he writes.

His latest entry is about why people don’t get promoted. Although I’m not employed in the traditional sense of the word, I do have some opportunities to peek into that world. Since this is gonna be a bit long to write it in Kathi’s comments section, I guess I’ll just do it here.

Going by what I see, the scenario Kathi paints is a common one. You’re the quiet type who work your butt off. You come in early and stay late every day, maybe even skipping lunches to meet deadlines. Your boss has no complaints about you and habitually pats you on the back for a job well done. But that’s where it ends. You get passed over for promotion every time by someone who talks more and delivers less. Feeling frustrated and betrayed, you think of resigning.

If you’re in this situation, I think you’re victim to one of the greatest fallacies of the workplace, one that many companies want you to believe, and that is the more hardworking you are, the more you deserve a promotion.

Actually getting more things done only means one thing – that you can get more things done. It doesn’t necessarily mean you are promoteable material. And if your boss isn’t interested to tell you what it takes to get promoted, its because either they themselves are blur sotong or in all honesty they don’t see much value in you.

I notice that people who believe in this work harder-get more reward myth tend to be either of low rank or are technical oriented people who are trained to relate to things mathematically. You know, that 1+1 must always be =2. Well if its as simple as that, employers don’t need humans. They just need computers and robots. They’re cheaper and they whine less summore.

Secondly, when this conflict of expectation happens and the first thing that comes to mind is to resign, then its just further proof that you are not promoteable in the first place. It demonstrates (a) an incapability to comprehend that business is more than just about the thing that you’re paid to do, and (b) the inability to take the bull by the horns and solve a problem. Business after all is about solving problems isn’t it.

I also noticed that people who get promoted tend to be loudmouths, jerks and rule breakers, seldom the quiet, compliant and “gwai gwai” types. By their very character, the former are often people who like to push the normal boundaries of the business to see where it goes. Testing fences is risky behaviour yes but someone has to do it and prove the old formulas aren’t working very well any more. If I’m the business owner, I rather have an insider prove I’m wrong than have my customer or worse, my competitor tell me.

Compare that to compliant people who sit quietly behind their fences, minding their own business and doing as their told, believing that the more pages they type the higher they can go up the laddder. I’ve often wondered why such people never enquire why nobody has ever been promoted to CEO after a 20 year typing job.

For me, whether a person is the reserved or noisy type, promotable people have one special characteristic. They can see work as a means to an end rather than an end in itself. They demonstrate it by going beyond their roles, even if it means just talking over lunch, to show that with a bit of imagination, you can achieve the same result quicker or cheaper, or you have a better idea that renders that piece of work redundant. They do this consistently, even if it sounds like they’re just whining and complaining.

Consciously or not, over time the message they send is that they’ve outgrown the little job titles on their business cards. The boss’s antenna is a lot more sensitive to this attitude versus talent thingy than any statistic showing you’ve churned out 10% more work this month than last month. Talent as you know is easily bought or rented.

In the end, I think promotability comes from a state of mind rather than a dry historical record of physical achievements. Are you delivering the work you’re told to do? Well and good, it guarantees you get to keep your job. But to climb the ladder, you need the guts and the imagination to push some boundaries for some tangible breakthroughs. If you do it smart you may get thrown upstairs instead of out.

Not all bosses will appreciate this though. If your boss was himself promoted to his position through the Peter Principle or he’s clearly a buffoon, then I say you’re better off bailing and looking elsewhere for a job.

p/s Thanks Kathi for inspiring me to write this post

5 golden rules for employees

I have a lot of respect for people who are in 9-5 jobs. They are indeed special people who abide by these employee values.

1. Compliant. This means accepting that the boss is always right even though you’re laughing your head off about your bumbling boss during lunch. By extension it also means doing things you’d rather not do. You know, little things like showing up to work on time and sticking to dress code.

2. Charitable. This means selling your talents for a lot less than what you’re convinced they’re worth. For example when you find management pooh-poohing your big idea when you know that on the outside, the same idea can generate you a million bucks easy.

3. Patient. This means ignoring it when your colleagues are trying to subvert your successes by finding fault in everything you do and cc-ing your ‘misdeeds’ by e-mail to the entire company. It also means waiting for year-end promotions that never come.

4. Benevolent. This means having two or three person’s jobs sneakily dumped into your lap for no increase in pay. Its like charity except here they tie you up to an enlarged job scope contractually.

5. Motivator. This means boot-licker or apple-polisher. Going out of your way to make your boss feel good (even if you actually despise him) and motivated to be generous to you during appraisal time. You understand that telling him he’s wrong would flatten his ego faster than a nail in a tire.

But what if you’re not the type who’s compliant, charitable, patient, benevolent and a natural motivator? Well you have two choices: learn them up quickly or get out and set up on your own. You know what they say about leading, following or getting out of the way right?

But if you do set up your own thing and start hiring people as you expand, remember these 5 golden rules for employees. Marvel on the fact that not only are you on the other side now but on how you suddenly feel these rules are utterly justified. Hee hee.

Being Happy vs. Being Right, Which is more important to you?

You do know that these two aren’t exactly synonymous don’t you.

Anyway, I was at the airport the other day sending off my sis to Sydney when I witnessed a tense argument between a couple. It seems they had missed their check-in time by 10 minutes and the guy was ticking off his gf/wife for taking her time to pack, causing them to leave their house late. The girl retorted that they were late because the guy called the taxi late. They weren’t throwing things at each other or anything but they were clearly pissed off at each other.

I’m sure there’ve been times when you were utterly convinced you’re right but it did nothing to improve a tense situation. So what do you do, harp on the fact that you were right regardless or zip up for the sake of maintaining peace?

Some of my friends would say if you’re right, you’re right and you should never step back and lose face, even if it cost you your relationship. Some would say its not worth a fight, just relax and let your partner be victorious. Focus on the long term, he or she will discover the truth some day.

I dunno. Does being right actually have any value in a relationship? Would stepping back mean you’re a chicken or a hero?

What would you do?