Comments on: Should your spouse be your soulmate?

By: nany

nany — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 15:46:22 +0000

i don’t know how to explain about soulmate things…but i n my hubby having a problem right now because he believed that he allready found his soulmate…wanted to let go this marriage to look how he far his relationship with this lady…they so deep in love that what i can see…..for him i’m not his soulmate ..i’m his partner…eventhought…we allready face all the happy n hard times….just dun understand…

By: Bryan

Bryan — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:08:05 +0000

Hi Kay, its nice to know that things are working out well for you.

By: Kay Kastum

Kay Kastum — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:00:24 +0000

..maybe being faithful, making efforts to make it more interesting, make time, prioritize, compromise….stuffs like that.

By: Bryan

Bryan — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 10:59:06 +0000

Hi Kay, yes many of my posts are on how men and women see the world differently. So if marriage is not just love but also commitment, then how would you define commitment?

By: Kay Kastum

Kay Kastum — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 08:20:38 +0000

I can bet you my (not that much) paid post money that you will get two different answers when you ask a Man & a Woman.
For man, soul mate could include words like lots of sex, understanding, supportive etc. For woman could be loving, helpful, loyal, understanding..etc.

I believe love is a commitment not just feelings. If you see married couples holding hands, that does not mean they do it all the time. There will be situations where you will think to your self, “what have I done? Marrying this person?”.

Also one needs to follow certain principle and I believe having a little faith in God do make a difference too. Just my USD 0.50 cents lar….

By: Bryan

Bryan — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 05:00:00 +0000

Hi Ipohchai, I have to agree with you there. Compromise seems to the the key.

Hi Azmeen, from the ppl I spoke to, a soulmate is one of the things they want in an ideal marriage among many. I think its just a buzzword for deep friendship, nothing to do with souls per se. From what I see, friendship – including the ability to share problems with an open mind – tend to be the first casualty of marriage. After that its just like 2 zombies living under the same roof. It doesn’t happen to everyone but it’s out there.

By: Azmeen

Azmeen — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 01:52:33 +0000

Well, it depends on what the word “soul” means to you. Do you believe in souls?

I’m happily married with my SO for five years. Sure, there were some difficult times, and I’m willing to bet my life savings that they will definitely be more in the future. But isn’t that the purpose of committing to a marriage in the first place? To work things out as husband and wife.

Personally, I don’t believe in soulmates. Chemistry? Yes. Complementing traits? Yes. Acceptance and tolerance? Yes.

Bundling those relationship defining phrases into the word “soulmate” is unfair for all the hard work put into them.

By: ipohchai

ipohchai — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:42:00 +0000

how to define a soulmate anyway?
who actually did experience the ‘live happily ever after’ thing after they get married?
before marry, it is guy who give and girl just take
after marry, both have to give a lot and take a little
it is the matter of compromise and how to solve problems
if you are not willing to give a lot, take a little, compromise and work things out, I guess u will never find a person who could be your soulmate

By: Bryan

Bryan — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:07:07 +0000

Hi mumsgather, thanks for the tip. Most youngsters believe marriage is all about love so I guess they’ll find out only when its “too late” eh

Hi mott, yup it makes sense – soulmates don’t necessarily make good housemates and vice versa.

Hi Snoopy Jimmy, yup I see ur point. Whats a soulmate… for me its someone I turn to when something’s bugging me and the first person I tell when I’m excited about something.

By: Jimmy Ng

Jimmy Ng — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:20:15 +0000

Thank you for this great post!
I had wanted to ask many people about this.
My answer is that – if your marriage does not work out, your spouse is not your soulmate. If your marriage works out, your spouse continues to be yours soulmate until your marriage fails.
Sound kinda immature doesn’t it? But that is the answer I got from one of my aunties who’s been married for 15 years.

What is a soulmate after all? I believe most of us have a different view of this.