Ghost Rider – Mat Rempit movie of the year

No that’s not the official movie poster but it should have been.

I saw the movie last night. Its a rempit movie on steroids complete with traffic-snarling road stunts. I’m predicting we’ll soon see a horde of local Johnny Blazes (Nicholas Cage) wannabes, possibly entire rempit gangs built on his persona. After all the important ingredients are there. Bikes, chicks, supportive onlookers, glamour, idiotic police, baddies cutting into your turf, even a mission to save the day.

I tell ya, the movie is a Met Rempit dream come true, the story probably written by a Mat Rempit because the plot is a simple one. Someone makes a deal with the devil to save his father from cancer. He pays for it by doing the devil’s bidding and that is to kick other devils’ asses in a hellish struggle for power. But the hero has a good heart and after paying his dues to the devil, vows to use his dark superpowers to fight crime.

A very important tool of Johny Blaze’s trade is of course that all-important icon of coolness, a heavily-chromed easy rider motorcycle given by the Evil One on which he chases the bad guys. Hmm… sending devils on motorbikes to catch criminals. Now where have I heard that before….

I found the movie funny although I know its not meant to be a comedy. It tries too hard to highlight the Jekyll-and-Hyde life of Blaze – a Karen Carpenters-loving innocent guy one moment, a leather-and-chains creature from hell the next, complete with a burning skull for a head.

The CG (computer graphics) was sloppy and looked a bit game-like, especially when it closes up on the burning skull. I’ve seen better CG than that. The action sequences were predictable but okay. Storyline’s a bit flat but what can you expect from a Rempit.

I give Ghost Rider a 2.5 out of 5.

Movie rant and Valentine (blood) diamonds

Feeling bored at home on CNY weekend, I watched a Shrek 2 rerun with my wee little cousins the other day. I don’t know about you but I was completely turned off by the movie. Its like watching a torturous cross between Beauty and The Beast and Coyote Ugly.

Call me old fashioned but if you have an enchanted fairy tale to tell, then for pete’s sake tell an enchanted fairy tale. Why pollute it with things that completely throw it out of place, out of time and out of character? You’ve framed the story around medieval times when flushing the toilet meant flinging one’s bucket of excreta out the window onto the streets so wtf was disco music from the 70’s doing in it, Grammy hits-singing fairy godmothers and other modern Hollywood trash? It might be lost on the little twerps but not on me. I tell ya, it was bloody irritating.

But if there was one recent movie that impressed me, it is Blood Diamond, starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

His South African accent is way cool, the storyline hung superbly, the African lead actor Djimen Hounsou’s acting was very convincing and even Arnold Vosloo, the guy who played evil Imhotep in the Mummy, played his role of saviour-cum-villain well.

Set in Sierra Leone, the question behind the movie is simply this – would you buy something if you knew someone was tortured and killed making it? Now being a cheapskate, I’ve never bought a diamond before, not even for my gf, and after watching the movie, I’m glad I didn’t.

Despite the nomination for 5 Oscars, this sort of movie will not be a box office hit. Let’s face it, people generally pay to be entertained and get away from reality, not get deeper into it. However in no way does this diminish the value of the story. The movie is a damning message to the masters of child labourers, sweatshops and export countries well known for human rights abuses, woven around a heart wrenching tale of human barbarism and tragedy.

Yes its just a movie and a work of fiction no doubt but it must have hit close to home. Soon after the first screenings, some African diamond exporting countries actually came forward to deny that their diamonds are mined by slave labour. Even DeBeers, the world’s largest diamond company had a response. But if you see the conditions of these countries on BBC and CNN, you might wonder if there is some truth to the movie’s portrayals.

I like movies that instil awareness, especially if they come with kick-ass action scenes like this one. People – watch the movie if you can and think very hard before buying that shiny rock for your girlfriend. Be like me and buy her a teddy bear instead.

I give Blood Diamond a 4 thumbs up out of 5.